When I’m listening to Beyoncé in my car and one of my friends tells me to change it
“College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.””
"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"
"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"
"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"
"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."
"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"
the fact that teachers actually expect you to do homework is annoying
Don’t want nudes leaked? Don’t take nudes. Don’t want to be robbed? Stop owning things. Wanna avoid being killed? Buddy, quit living already!
REMEMBERING ALL YOUR NEGLECTED RESPONSIBILITIES AT ONCE LIKE
is ellen even hosting or is she just hanging out with famous people
so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself.